how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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