I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
