i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
