I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
