when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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