I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize