Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
