did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
