I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
