I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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