i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
