im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
