Ambien. No doubt about it.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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