If i come over, it means nothing
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
