Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
