girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
