There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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