you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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