Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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