I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
