Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
