his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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