I wanna passion pit in your ass
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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