I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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