It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
