Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
