i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
