Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
