Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
