Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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