For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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