Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
