Banned from zoo.
Again?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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