I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
