My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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