I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
