I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
