have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
