I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
