How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
cat food counts as protein by the way
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
