There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
