he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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