Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
