you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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