new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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