is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
