Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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