ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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