I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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