Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i came on her dog
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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