I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
