So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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