i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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