You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i think i have two assholes
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
