he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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