it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
