It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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