Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
