Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
