dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
