I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
